28
Dec
The Quiet Complexity of Motherhood
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By
Sevastra
Motherhood is often romanticised as a universal, selfless experience, but beneath this idealised image lies a rich and complex reality. Naomi Stadlen’s How Mothers Love: And How Relationships Are Born provides a deeply empathetic exploration of this reality, offering insight into the unseen emotional labour of mothers and the quiet strength they exhibit in building relationships with their children.
Stadlen’s work is unique in its approach—it is neither a parenting guide nor a theoretical textbook. Instead, it serves as a reflective companion, combining real-life anecdotes with psychological insight and existential philosophy. Her focus is on the relational and emotional aspects of motherhood, emphasising the subtle ways mothers express love, often without recognition.
As someone with a professional background in attachment, I find this book particularly illuminating. Each time I revisit it, I discover new themes and reflections that resonate differently, depending on where I am in my personal and professional life. In...
28
Dec
Therapy as Transformation: Confronting the Absurd and Embracing Growth
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By
Therapy is often misconstrued as a process aimed solely at symptom reduction—quieting the anxiety, softening the sadness, or calming the restless mind. While these outcomes are undeniably important, therapy, when viewed through an existential lens, offers so much more. It is a profound journey into the core of one’s existence, fostering transformation rather than merely treating discomfort.
Drawing from the existential philosophy of thinkers like Albert Camus, therapy can be seen as a method of confronting the “uncontrollability of existence”—those fears, desires, and uncertainties that underlie human suffering. As people feel safe enough to explore their depths, they begin to unveil aspects of themselves that both torment and potentially liberate them (K. Schneider, 2016). These primordial undercurrents—related to freedom, isolation, and the search for meaning—are at the heart of the transformative power of therapy.
Therapy as a Confrontation with the Absurd
Albert Camus famously described the absurd as the tension between humanity’s relentless...
19
Nov
The Shadow of Avoidance: A Reflection on Conflict and Authenticity in Relationships
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By
Human relationships are often shaped by the unresolved complexities that arise when conflict is avoided. This avoidance—so deeply ingrained and habitual—does not just shape the dynamics between individuals; it reveals a painful truth about the fragility of connection when discomfort is perpetually evaded.
Some individuals live in a carefully constructed fantasy, one where everything is "picture perfect." On the surface, this fantasy appears harmonious, even desirable. But underneath lies a chasm of unspoken intergenerational tensions, unmet needs, and unacknowledged truths. True connection, however, requires confrontation—not for the sake of discord, but for the sake of growth, truth, and intimacy. To avoid conflict is to avoid the essence of life itself: the struggles, the contradictions, and the ongoing negotiation of what it means to be human.
I have encountered this dynamic firsthand in a deeply personal relationship, where conflict avoidance has created an unbridgeable gulf. Whenever I have tried to address the tensions,...