28
Dec
The Fantasies We Create: Identity, Connection, and the Cost of Authenticity
Humanity has always been drawn to archetypes—myths, symbols, and stories that reflect the struggles and complexities of existence. From the tricksters and lovers of ancient myth to the rebels and outcasts of modern narratives, these figures reveal deep truths about who we are, how we connect, and the illusions we often create about ourselves and others.
This article explores the universal dynamics of identity, relationships, and societal rejection, focusing on the tension between fantasy and authenticity. Using archetypal lessons reflected in characters like the Joker and Harley Quinn, we delve into the human tendency to idealize, the allure of chaos, and the cost of rejecting or embracing societal expectations.
The Allure of Fantasy: Why We Idealize Others
Since the earliest myths, humanity has been drawn to the idea of heroes, villains, and lovers who represent something greater than themselves. We project our desires, fears, and unmet needs onto others, crafting fantasies that fill...
28
Dec
The Quiet Complexity of Motherhood
Motherhood is often romanticised as a universal, selfless experience, but beneath this idealised image lies a rich and complex reality. Naomi Stadlen’s How Mothers Love: And How Relationships Are Born provides a deeply empathetic exploration of this reality, offering insight into the unseen emotional labour of mothers and the quiet strength they exhibit in building relationships with their children.
Stadlen’s work is unique in its approach—it is neither a parenting guide nor a theoretical textbook. Instead, it serves as a reflective companion, combining real-life anecdotes with psychological insight and existential philosophy. Her focus is on the relational and emotional aspects of motherhood, emphasising the subtle ways mothers express love, often without recognition.
As someone with a professional background in attachment, I find this book particularly illuminating. Each time I revisit it, I discover new themes and reflections that resonate differently, depending on where I am in my personal and professional life. In...
28
Dec
Therapy as Transformation: Confronting the Absurd and Embracing Growth
Therapy is often misconstrued as a process aimed solely at symptom reduction—quieting the anxiety, softening the sadness, or calming the restless mind. While these outcomes are undeniably important, therapy, when viewed through an existential lens, offers so much more. It is a profound journey into the core of one’s existence, fostering transformation rather than merely treating discomfort.
Drawing from the existential philosophy of thinkers like Albert Camus, therapy can be seen as a method of confronting the “uncontrollability of existence”—those fears, desires, and uncertainties that underlie human suffering. As people feel safe enough to explore their depths, they begin to unveil aspects of themselves that both torment and potentially liberate them (K. Schneider, 2016). These primordial undercurrents—related to freedom, isolation, and the search for meaning—are at the heart of the transformative power of therapy.
Therapy as a Confrontation with the Absurd
Albert Camus famously described the absurd as the tension between humanity’s relentless...
19
Nov
The Shadow of Avoidance: A Reflection on Conflict and Authenticity in Relationships
Human relationships are often shaped by the unresolved complexities that arise when conflict is avoided. This avoidance—so deeply ingrained and habitual—does not just shape the dynamics between individuals; it reveals a painful truth about the fragility of connection when discomfort is perpetually evaded.
Some individuals live in a carefully constructed fantasy, one where everything is "picture perfect." On the surface, this fantasy appears harmonious, even desirable. But underneath lies a chasm of unspoken intergenerational tensions, unmet needs, and unacknowledged truths. True connection, however, requires confrontation—not for the sake of discord, but for the sake of growth, truth, and intimacy. To avoid conflict is to avoid the essence of life itself: the struggles, the contradictions, and the ongoing negotiation of what it means to be human.
I have encountered this dynamic firsthand in a deeply personal relationship, where conflict avoidance has created an unbridgeable gulf. Whenever I have tried to address the tensions,...
30
May
Re-Discovery of Being
In this article, I will explore the interconnected existential concepts of being, human freedom, and relationships from the philosophical works of Rollo May, Simone de Beauvoir, and Maurice Merleau-Ponty. I will elucidate how our engagement development structures, particularly through the lens of Merleau-Ponty’s philosophy, can enable the re-discovery of being through a “child-apprenticeship” relations approach. Additionally, I will discuss our collective responsibility in co-creating consciousness.
Understanding Being: Ontology, Epistemology, and Phenomenology
To understand the re-discovery of being, it is essential to distinguish between the ontological and epistemological aspects of being. Ontology concerns the nature of being itself, the existence and reality of entities. It is the study of what it means to be. Epistemology, on the other hand, deals with the nature and scope of knowledge, focusing on how we know what we know.
Phenomenology, a philosophical approach developed by Edmund Husserl and expanded by Merleau-Ponty, is crucial in this context. It emphasizes...
24
May
Whispers in the Digital Forest
In the digital forest, whispers echo,
A nymph’s lament, lost in shadowed glade,
Where screens cast light, yet hearts remain aglow,
In search of solace from the masquerade.
Narcissus by the pool, entranced, alone,
His eyes fixed upon a surface lie,
The reflection of a soul turned to stone,
In the quest for love that passes by.
Echo’s voice, a fragment, yearns to meld
With words unspoken, in the ether caught,
Her essence in the canyon, unquelled,
A chorus of the truths she sought.
In the silence left by social's retreat,
A space for deeper roots begins to swell,
Where pixels fade and heartbeats meet,
A story of reclamation, to tell.
Beneath the veneer of likes and shares,
Lies the craving for a touch, a glance,
The warmth of sun, the cool of evening airs,
The infinite dance of chance.
From Narcissus’ grip, the soul takes flight,
Away from the reflection, into the night,
To where Echo’s voice rings true and bright,
In the realm of connection, beyond the light.
A journey from the...
24
May
Power Dynamics in human interaction
Over the Footbridge
The vignette from Nietzsche's The Gay Science, titled "Over the Footbridge," serves as a vivid metaphorical exploration of power dynamics in human interactions. This short yet profound narrative encapsulates Nietzsche's nuanced understanding of power, not as a fixed asset held by one party over another but as a fluid and dynamic force constantly in motion within the context of relationships.
In this vignette, Nietzsche illustrates the subtle shifts in power through a simple yet evocative scene: two individuals, emotionally close, stand on opposite sides of a footbridge. The act of one person extending their hand and inviting the other to cross symbolizes an offer of connection, a gesture that in itself carries a form of power—the power to initiate change or action. The other's rejection, despite their initial intention to cross, reveals a critical aspect of Nietzsche's philosophy: power dynamics are not merely about the exertion of will or...
24
May
The Foundations of Medical Care in Hospitality: An Existential Perspective
Introduction
The history of medical care is deeply rooted in the ancient notion of hospitality. From early civilizations to modern times, the principles of providing shelter, comfort, and aid have shaped the development of healthcare. This tradition of care, grounded in the ethical and moral duty to assist those in need, finds resonance in the existential philosophies of thinkers like Martin Heidegger and Rollo May. These philosophers highlight the intrinsic human capacity for "sorge" or care, which forms the basis for our interconnectedness and responsibilities towards others. Understanding the evolution of medical care through the lens of hospitality and existential thought offers profound insights into the role of caregivers today. Additionally, modern medical ethics emphasizes respect for the dignity and autonomy of patients, which further enriches this discussion. This essay will explore Heidegger's concept of "sorge," Rollo May’s integration of care in psychology, the tradition of hospitality in medical care, and...